Mother or wife: to which side he will stand?

Almost in every man’s life comes a moment when he gets involved into a very unenviable and tricky

position. This situation comes after a man has announced to his parents that he was going soon to end his life as a bachelor. A man’s life after: “Mom! Dad! I am getting married! “changes. Sometimes very drastically.

On his father’s reaction, perhaps we will talk some other time. This time we will focus on his mother’s reaction.

In my opinion, mother plays the key role in his son’s upbringing, in building his views about family life. Mother places in his son the base, and the substructure on which he will later form his own family life, of course, putting something of himself, but also giving up something.

It is important to understand one more very important thing in mother’s relationship with her son. As it is well- known, the father in a girl’s life for a quite long time is the main man. For daughters the father will serve as the perfect man for all of their lives. After wedding a woman wants her husband to be as much as possible similar to her own father. Sometimes, the ladies manage to find a man that really resembles their father. But this happens only very rarely. Therefore, she is trying to bring up her son so that he as much as possible resembles her father. Mothers are trying to make their sons as close as possible to their childhood view of the ideal man. Mothers are dreaming to inculcate the characteristics that they were unable to find in their husbands. Mothers spend all their spare time to raising their sons, so they believe that the possible wife must be grateful for that she receives such treasure.

Here appears the first paradox. Because in most cases the son treats to his chosen wife the way his mother taught. So why mothers regularly complain that their sons often stand on the wife’s side?

How the man should act when he is between the two beloved women – the mother and the wife? On the condition that he not only wants to maintain excellent relations with both women, but with all his heart he wants them not to have regular arguments. Regardless of the fact that all sides of this triangle live under one roof or in different areas. Undoubtedly you understand that the “conditional kitchen” sometimes does not have a border. There are a lot of cases where a parent has intervened in their children’s relationships, even when living in the other side of the world. Besides, this applies to both mothers- in- law.

In my opinion, it would be the best if the mother could understand that her son treats to his chosen wife in the manner she thought him. While the wife should understand the way how her loved man is paying attention toward his mother. Later she will receive the same attention from her son, because you will have taught him how to deal with parents, wives, and children. But to achieve this harmony of the family, with good intentions and desire will not be enough. Such relationships can be created only if all the parts of the family triangle will be prepared to their best. Just remember that to maintain good relationships at home, you will have to work at it every day.